Working parents are some of the greatest hustlers one can meet. Juggling through meetings, office, schools and home you may find yourself wondering how 24 hours in a day are enough for them.
As Mother’s Day is approaching, we spoke to our busy founder and recent mother, Aisha Saraf Kothari on how she manages her time and balances between work and parenthood.
From the start of the interview, Aisha made it clear that she wanted to be referred to as a ‘working parent’. Men who are active fathers and professionals often don’t get the same recognition which reinforces presumptions regarding women and parenting. Aisha’s husband has been a helpful hand during her journey as a parent and his insights have helped her understand motherhood better.
Below, the young entrepreneur shares five things with us that every working parent should know.
Time Matters A LOT More
Aisha truly believes that time matters a lot more after you’ve had a child. She sees the difference before and after pregnancy, and has realised the importance of time management. For that, she emphasises the need to be efficient in the tasks one undertakes and mindful, so as to not lose a precious minute as ”there is no scope for wasted time”.
As she suggests, “see becoming a parent as a new layer of responsibility, a new part of the equation of everyday life. Perhaps before life revolved around only work, then maybe a partner was added and had to be considered, and now view welcoming a child as an added responsibility and go from there on how to balance it all.”
Reset Boundaries
Linked to the importance of managing time in a practical manner, Aisha added the use of resetting boundaries between work and family. For instance, know which time will be spent working or attending meetings and which will be dedicated to playing with the child.
Aisha brought her daughter to India with her for the 10th AiSPi trunk show in Delhi. As she admitted, she had very little time during the day to see her daughter as the preparations were hectic. However, she saw her everyday for breakfast, something that would have not been possible if she had left her back in Antwerp. In addition, through this trip, her daughter had the chance to spend time with Aisha’s family and gain exposure to Indian sceneries and ways of living much different than those in Belgium.
Visualise Your Purpose
Probably the phrase Aisha was most passionate about was having a clear purpose and vision. Get it clear in your head what your purpose for work is. Is it building an ambitious career with a high-earning cachet–and, how much is this? Is it working for recreational purposes? Or maybe working due to a need to support your family? Whatever it is, it is important that you honour your decision and work guilt-free without comparing to others.
As everyone has a different purpose for their life and the roles they commit to, a stay-at-home mother cannot compare her parenting style to that of an active lawyer for instance and vice versa. That would be unfair. Once you understand what your purpose is, it is easier to structure your day planning and incorporate your child in the programme. According to Aisha, “the most important thing is to always find ways to grow whether that is through work, a hobby or a new experience.”
Do Not Have Unrealistic Expectations
There is a sacrifice in every single choice one makes. Do not expect to tick all boxes for ”perfect-mother”, ”perfect-professional”, ”perfect-friend” 24/7. Having unrealistic expectations blurs your vision of what you have listed as priority and important and sets you up for disappointment and guilt.
You Win Some, You Lose Some
There is sacrifice in all decisions. Whether you choose to work full-time or part-time, travel a lot or stay at home, the child will both gain and lose experiences.
As Aisha puts it, ”I really do not think my daughter will have a lunch equally amazing as the child of a full-time mom. But though she might miss on that, she may gain experience in travelling, interactions with different people and other experiences. Comparison is a killer and a liar as in all cases there are strong and weak points.”
The perfect take-away from the talk with Aisha was all centred upon the importance of understanding yourself, your purpose and how to go about from there. All else stems from that and honouring your choices leaving no room for comparisons with people who have made a different choice and value another life purpose.
Written by Eleftheria Giannouli
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